Thursday, October 29, 2009

DWTS - S9 Week 6

Don't know who decided to pair Waltz and Jitterbug on the same episode, but it definitely makes for an odd combination of costumes in the lineup. Gotta say that they put together some pretty cute-looking ones for Jitterbug, including a one that features not only our old friends Kym's Boobs but Kym's Abs as well. One odd costuming choice is definitely the massive high collar on Aaron's shirt.

Hugely looking forward to the "Group Marathon" event at the end of the episode. Our good buddy Maks explains why it's an important addition to the show, since it's the closest DWTS has ever gotten to an actual (or, as Len would say, "proper") ballroom competition format.


Mya & Dmitry: Their nickname: Team D-Mya. She's enjoying dancing more. This is the most physically demanding dance they've done. Jitterbug. A long, but cute intro. Great bounce and energy to it, nice expression. A couple of good lifts, but just not explosive enough. 8.5/10.0

Melissa & Mark Time to step up and be serious. The slow speed proving a challenge. In comes Mark's mom Shirley Ballas to coach: "Puppies up," says Shirley to Melissa, echoing Anna T last week. Waltz. Starts hesitant and unsure, posture good for about 3/4, good frame. Not enough swing in legs or sway in body, balance off. 7.0/10.0

Looking at Mark's short hair on the floor and long near-fro in the video, I wonder out loud if Shirley told her son to cut it. Tom: "Later on, I'll be telling you how you can bid on Mark's hair from last week." Great minds.

Mark & Lacey: To make him stand out, she's giving him all the tricks. They go to a Swing club dance for inspiration. Jitterbug. Nice intro and loads of solo work for him. Massive energy, huge tricks, he's really throwing himself into it. Bouncy and happy, a couple of missed connections. 9.0/10.0

Aaron & Karina: He brings flowers and wears a suit to prove his serious commitment to work hard. Waltz. Awesome frame and posture. Very controlled and nicely musical. Good footwork and excellent driving leg action on long steps. Should have realized he's built like a Smooth dancer, it suits him well. 9.0/10.0

There are Jacksons once again in the audience, along with some Osmonds. Len is enjoying showing his "9" paddle to the crowd to get some applause.

Michael & Anna D: On his sports talk radio show, he thanks his fans. They're working to finish strong. Waltz. Nice posture, good frame, very solid footwork. Some good expression and definitely a good feel for the music. The content not especially difficult, but well executed. 7.5/10.0

In the audience: Julianne Hough. Len, it seems, is in a particularly good mood.

Kelly & Louis: She fears failing and is worried she's not good enough. He makes her swing from a trapeze to feel just jumping in, and suddenly there's much more Osbournes-style bleeped cursing. Jitterbug. Manages some good bounce and energy on injured foot. Cute, but flat and contained. She's having fun. 7.0/10.0

Video package: double elimination tomorrow night and knockout dances. For the dance-off, the couples are picking their own dances and music for 30 second routines. Only the judges will decide who's eliminated in the dance-off.

Louie & Chelsie: Feeling the pressure of three dances, really beating up on himself physically. She uses his snowboard videos to teach him. Jitterbug. Lots of energy and good tricks, but clumpy feet and no control and off time. He drops her coming out of tricks twice. A nice try. 6.5/10.0

Tom: "Women fall for Maks all the time-- he told me so himself."

Joanna & Derek: Total change with the slow time and feeling of the dance. Time for Derek's frustration to start showing. Waltz. Gorgeous flow and sway, excellent smoothness and lightness. Great footwork and posture, solid frame and very nice follow. Terrific layback spin, really impressive. 9.0/10.0

Donny & Kym: Starting with a clean slate. They're doing some crazy pretzel moves, and he's finding the lifts and tricks taxing. They do a dance class for challenged kids. Jitterbug. Packed full of tricks and choreography. Awesome fun and energy, great expression. A little frantic on timing, maybe. 9.0/10.0

Okay, time for the Group Marathon event, our dance being Mambo. A video package outlines the different skills that this will test: technique (they will still have to dance properly and well), endurance (the music will play until there's a winner, up to four minutes) and floorcraft (the ability to avoid problems with other couples on the floor as well as get the judges' attention). Each couple has different ideas for strategy and have different challenges. All couples will take the floor, dancing until the judges indicate their elimination (with a stagehand doing the actual tap on the shoulder). The order of elimination determines their score. The couples walk out, all of them color coded to one another except Aaron & Karina for some reason. There are also helpful spotlights to give them their starting spaces.

Their elimination order: Michael & Anna D (2 points)... Louie & Chelsie (3)... Melissa & Mark (4)... Kelly & Louis (5)... Mark & Lacey (6)... Donny & Kym (7)... Aaron & Karina (8)... Mya & Dmitry (9)

Joanna & Derek win, taking 10 points. He puts her in a neck drop and bounces her about ten time before bringing her up. I would have been very upset if Mya took it, as she and Dmitry fell off correct Mambo rhythm.

Results show. The scores feature their fifth different leader in five weeks. Clips now feature the RED VIDEO OVERLAY FILTER OF DOOOOOOOOOOM. They're not wasting time with this episode, as there'll be three musical performances.

Musical guest: Taylor Swift, "Jump Then Fall". I gotta notice her band is a little emo'y looking, oddly. On the floor are Theater Arts couple DJ Guthrie and Kersten Todey (Guthrie, who also choreographed, is Lacey's boyfriend).

Several couples are wearing the most brightly-colored costumes ever to be seen on DWTS.

Safe: Joanna & Derek, Mark & Lacey.

In the audience: From Eastwick, 2 of the 3 witches and Sara Rue. Rebecca Romijin decides to display all eight feet of her legs. I'm noticing they're getting very creative with the light patterns on the floor this season.

Video: the competitors' fear of the double elimination. Tom: "They pulled out all the scary music for that."

Safe: Donny & Kym, Aaron & Karina.

Musical guest: Tiempo Libre, "Tu Conga Bach". Seven guys from Cuba whose story is apparently being adapted into a musical. Two couples doing some very good showy Salsa.

Video: The celebrities are designing the costumes for their partners next week.

Safe: Mya & Dmitry, Kelly & Louis. The bottom three in the RED LIGHT OF DOOOOOOOOOM: Louie & Chelsie, Michael & Anna D, Melissa & Mark.

Musical guest: Taylor Swift, "Love Story". Is it just me or are her vocals a bit lower-pitched than the recording? Three couples dance, Jonathan & Anna T, Tony & Cheryl, Maks & Edyta. They're wearing sort-of period costumes with the girls in awesome flowy skirts and Ren Faire-ish bodices, guys in more Edwardian ruffled shirts and vests. Anna T looks gorgeous in emerald, and Edyta looks way better than usual, probably because she had no say in the costume. Jonathan choreographed.

Video: Three athletic champions describe competition. Nadia Comaneci, Greg Louganis and Bill Walton.

Eliminated (Lowest Score): Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas. She was very nervous, they get a standing ovation. Her family was going to visit next week, so now she's coming home.

Dance-Off. They start with both couples in a big RED SPOTLIGHT OF DOOOOOOOOOOM on the floor. Michael & Anna D choose Samba. Lots of hips, but just not correct, loose and fun. Louie & Chelsie (or rather, Louie) picks Jive (because it's fun). Off time and he loses his steps at the halfway point.

Bruno elects to save Louie, Len picks Michael and Carrie Anne does, too.

Eliminated (Dance Off): Louie Vito & Chelise Hightower. He does a twisting flip off the stage and is very happy and gracious. I wonder if they were having too much fun for him to progress. Or it could be the fact that they're dating.

See you next week.
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Friday, October 23, 2009

DWTS - S9 Week 5

The show has experienced all manner of debilitating injuries to its participants but it has never faced the flu, Tom intones with his usual tongue-in-cheek drama. Samantha's poodle hair is back, and it brought friends with Lacey, Kelly and Louis all getting odd 'dos this week. Once again, I can barely hear Tom which I think has mostly to do with all the audience screaming.


Natalie & Alec: Power and aggression are up her alley. She has an overly technical approach and needs to feel. Paso Doble. Very clean and exact throughout, but not enough physical connection between them. She's dancing way too tight. Horrible music. 7.5/10.0

Aaron & Karina: "Turn me on," says Karina, "and that's hard 'cause I'm a cold, hard bitch." Glad she said it. Bring in Parissa & Sandor, an Argentine Tango couple. Excellent, intricate choreography. Great character and expression. Legs not quite flexed enough for a solid base, so feet a bit wobbly. Well done. 8.5/10.0

In the audience: LaToya Jackson (again, but this time they announce her), Nathan Fillion & Stana Katic from Castle. Maks is noticeably absent from the Red Room during Karina's interview.

Michael & Anna D: This should be his dance, with the aggression. She tells him to drive his hips up and forward like he's holding a coin between his butt cheeks. He pretends to. Paso Doble. Good poise standing and in closed position, but off in pivot. Strong, but not explosive and striking. His best so far. 7.5/10.0

Anna D looks really good with the dark hair. Just thought I'd mention. Also worth mentioning is that now Maks is in the Red Room and Karina is not.

Mya & Dmitry: The choreography is difficult, and she nails him in the crotch twice. They do the visit to Habitat For Humanity. Argentine Tango. Spectacular job with technique and leg action. Great job acting on the intro, awesome centering on turns. A little short on fire and chemistry. 9.0/10.0

Mark & Lacey: Trying to break out of the middle pack, finding his action movie star aggression. He gets a small "solo". Paso Doble. Very strong, very sharp and well-poised, although posture sometimes stretched a little too far back. Great shapes and solid leading. 8.5/10.0

Donny & Kym: "This is the most passionate dance of all, do you understand?" asks Kym. "I have five kids, what do you think?" Donny deadpans. Argentine Tango. Fantastic technique, great footwork and leg action-- perfectly soft and flexed. Intense character, great feel for dance and music, so subtle and nuanced. 10.0/10.0

Louie & Chelsie: Bouncing back from the bottom two, putting all his focus. His pretend house in the interview has a snowboard on the wall, of course. Argentine Tango. Very focused, he nails the steps of difficult choreography. Good connection. Weight too far over his feet, especially in solo walks. Big improvement. 7.5/10.0

Melissa & Mark: He stayed home one day with flu, bringing in Anna T, who says to "keep the girls (her boobs) up and perky". Argentine Tango. Difficult, super-fast choreography. Some very nice snap and speed, but a few falters because of the speed. A little light on chemistry. At the end, her fishnet stocking gets caught on his jacket button. 8.0/10.0

Kelly & Louis: She can't believe her character is a cape, and can't stop giggling. Paso Doble. They're dancing to Ozzy's "Crazy Train", so they're done up sort of like Ozzy & Sharon, and a big skull is projected on the floor. Very solid footwork and leg action, good shapes and speed. Intense in spots, mostly well performed, but loses focus in spots. 8.0/10.0

In the audience: Ozzy, of course. In the Red Room, Maks is holding a Derek mask over his face.

Joanna & Maks: Derek looks very sick in rehearsals (jokingly blames it on taking his shirt off last week) and has to stay home for days, so Maks subs. Maks: "it was refreshing how quickly she picked it up". Argentine Tango. Streetlamp on the stage, awesome theatrical opening. Great choreography, fantastic footwork. Good leg action. Needs more softness in her body. She steps backwards wrong, stumbles, but recovers. 8.5/10.0

Apparently, Kelly sprained her ankle during her performance, so will be dancing barefoot for the...

Group Dance: Hustle to "Do the Hustle", naturally, plus a big sign saying so on stage. Corky Ballas is the choreographer. They totally dressed up a club to rehearse. Donny is loving it, flashing back to the 70's. Out come the crash mats for the solo bits. They've all got hysterical period costumes on, the girls have their hair done and the guys have awesomely bad wigs, especially Alec; although Mark in his wig looks like my father in old pictures. To do the solos, it's like the Soul Train line, awesome. Melissa cracks up after their solo. Best were Mark, Donny, Mya and Michael's lift.

Results show. This will be choppy, since we fast forwarded through almost all of it.

Encore: Donny & Kym's Argentine Tango. A great demonstration of how to be strong without being hard.

Video package: Throughout the show, they look back at the total of 17 routines that have been danced on the show to Michael Jackson songs. They start with Monique Coleman's, and wow did I forget how good she was.

Musical guest: Norah Jones. Two couples dancing for her, one of the guys looks like a young version of Benjamin Linus (AKA Benry Gale) from LOST.

Video package: What a show day is like.

Musical guest: Norah Jones, "Come Away With Me". Jonathan and Anna T Waltz and are beautiful and adorable dancing together. It turns out this was their wedding song, awwww. Even as Tom is talking, they're still swaying and being cute in the background.

And finally, the much-touted tribute to Michael Jackson. There's a video on the influence Jackson had on the pro dancers and all dancers in general. The performance is introduced by LaToya. They've got the second stage set up on the other end of the floor. There are a few different sections, danced to various songs: Mark, Karina & Derek dance "The Girl Is Mine"; choreography for "The Man In The Mirror" section was by Maks; the "Thriller" section, which closes out the routine looks like Louis' work. When all 16 pros are on the floor doing the iconic "Thriller" choreography, it becomes apparent who has the jazz/hip hop dance chops (the ones in front) and who aren't that comfortable with it (the ones in back). Overall, a pretty good dance show if not mind-blowing.

Eliminated: Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo. Bruno and Carrie Anne are visibly very upset over the loss. The judges begin a standing ovation for her. She's clearly taking it hard.

Next week we start two weeks of double eliminations, plus the dance-offs begin.
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Thursday, October 22, 2009

DWTS - S9 Week 4

Okay, I complain about the costumes on this show plenty, but the ones they've got going for these four oddball dances are just way out there. I can also pretty assuredly say that the couples who got assigned Lambada were anything but random. As they usually do for the less-than-typical dance styles (not that it actually makes sense for anything but Lindy Hop/Jitterbug, but whatever), they've removed the "no lift" restriction, provided the move is consistent with the dance style.


Chuck & Anna T: He's a lot goofier practicing this, and his happy to get to wear jeans and do some lifts. Country Two-Step. He barely does anything, dance-wise, just a few short walks, and those aren't even on time with the music. The lifts are okay, but it's just clumsy and clunky all over. Anna's hair continues to be huge. 4.0/10.0

The judges softpedal him. Are they afraid to give him criticism?

Melissa & Mark: "Time to be fearless," she says, and is drilling steps so as not to need to think about them. Mark has a huge moustache. Charleston, and it begins in black and white, nice. Very cute routine and well danced. Complicated choreography, great expression and performance, lot of energy for about 90% of the routine. Lots of fun. 9.0/10.0

In the audience: Joey Lawrence (he and MJH are developing a TV series), Gilles Marini (he's appearing on ABC's Brothers & Sisters), and LaToya Jackson (she's...)

Natalie & Alec: Working on loosening her up and increasing the difficulty level. Bolero. Good extension and great stretch. Working well with the music, but not as comfortable with movement as last week. Not enough connection between them, lacking performance. 8.0/10.0

Aaron & Karina: After last week's critiques, he got hugs and comfort from... Michael? They want a back flip so they go to a gymnastics coach. Lambada. The flip is good. High energy and showy, but too much-- frantic and just trying too hard. Kind of overly disco-y feeling than Latin. 7.5/10.0

Mark & Lacey: He needs to lighten up and enjoy dancing, so they bring in his three kids. Country 2-Step. Bales of hay on the floor. Things look a lot more fun and confident, good expression. Slips on time a bit. Good progression and some nice tricks. 8.0/10.0

Kelly & Louis: Chicago-meets-Cabaret theme. She doesn't like the dancer "noises" they all make. She was set to play Roxie Hart, but was pulled for not being able to dance, that sucks. Charleston. Louis wearing Emcee makeup. Great energy, lots of content, great performance. Confident in more spots, cute routine. Good use of prop canes. 8.5/10.0

Speaking of Roxie Hart... Samantha played her on stage? Ugh, that must've been horrendous.

Joanna & Derek: Derek says he has "the best job in America". They're going for difficulty. Lambada. Derek tosses away his shirt, she starts behind Len. Great rhythm and musicality. Lots of difficulty in the choreography, very good tricks. Strong chemistry. Adjusting last lift where she's straddling him looks wrong. 9.5/10.0

Carrie Anne: "I hope the children were in bed for that performance." Tom: "I think some of the adults are, now." (Tom FTW!)

Donny & Kym: He's a total perfectionist and is scared of mistakes. A "typical Donny dance", Charleston. Excellent choreography. Terrific footwork and great speed, not taking it easy. Great sync and performance for them both, looks like a lot of fun. Cute. 8.5/10.0

Donny runs over to the audience and kisses his wife and kids but not Marie. In the Red Room, Louis is making weird faces (even weirder with makeup) and pretending to touch Samantha's hair.

Michael & Anna D: Bring in Tony to coach for the feeling and passion. Bolero. Much improved connection and chemistry. Very little dancing, mostly walking and posing. No content for him at all. 4.0/10.0

Louie & Chelsie: To find the cowboy within, they go to Ty Murray's ranch and do chores. Country 2-Step. Awkward first steps, then no content for him. Not really on rhythm at all, just walking around off-beat. Good work with arm connections, at least. 5.0/10.0

Mya & Dmitry: They're trying to please Len. Sometimes it seems she takes charge of the choreography, hmm. Lambada. They're all oily and wet-looking. Good rhythm and feel for the music, nice expression. A little over-excited, needs more control. 9.0/10.0

Results show. Derek's shirtlessness was a impulse decision, and he apologizes for the way the end of the Lambada looked.

Encore: Melissa & Mark's Charleston. Just as great second time.

Musical guest: Shakira. "Did It Again". Group of female Korean drummers. Odd, interesting song. Amazing boots she's got on. I have to wonder if she'd be considered much weirder and less popular if she wasn't so attractive.

Safe: Mya, Melissa. RED LIGHT OF DOOOOOOOOOOM: Aaron.

Pro dance: Demonstrating next week's dances, medley of Paso Doble (choreography by Louis) and Argentine Tango (choreography by guest Tango dancers). Alec, Dmitry, Louis, Cheryl, Edyta & Karina. Awesome, as always.

Samantha delivers another super-awkward interview. Aaron gets and awkward laugh. She doesn't even talk to Mya.

Safe: Kelly, Natalie, Joanna. All the women are safe. Mark, Michael.

Video package: Kids visiting their parents at the studios.

Musical guest: Shakira. "Hips Don't Lie". Eight pseudo-belly dancers.

Video package: Stress, pressure and frustration for both celebs and pros.

Safe: Donny, Louie. Bottom two: Chuck, Aaron (he looks nauseous, Karina looks teary)

Eliminated: Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya. She calls him her "bear" and her "hippo". He says he had a lot of fun and they're both very gracious.
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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

DWTS - S9 Week 3

As usual, they refer to this as "Latin Night" and "the sexiest night of the season" because it features both Samba and Rumba. The costumes are surprisingly low on skin this season around and are either great or ridiculous. Apparently, Lacey's is her favorite ever for no reason I can discern.


Mark & Lacey: Trouble keeping him slowed down and calm and smooth. Rumba. Good hips in place, but loses the flexibility and smoothness in motion. Good stretch and lines. Lack of chemistry and feeling for music. Needs grounding. 7.0/10.0

In the audience: Lance Bass, Sabrina Bryan, Paula Abdul (!)

Joanna & Derek: She says she has no problem with the sexy and the "shaky shaky". They're trying the difficult-for-anybody Shadow Samba Roll. Samba. Some nice start to bounce and leg action. She over-reaches on step back. Awful wig. Keeps shape in Shadow Roll, great rhythm. 8.5/10.0

Mya & Dmitri: They make the dance all about the relationship. She dresses up the practice space to get into romantic character. Rumba. Excellent stretch and very fluid, good extension. Needs a little more footwork and figure content to show skill. Awesome chemistry, great dress. 9.0/10.0

Headdress Lady is going explode out of a pink Flinstones-print dress.

Melissa & Mark: "I'm a mom," she says, "I haven't been out partying in a while." It's tough teacher time. Samba. Very good leg action and strength. Great footwork. Thinking too much again, losing the animation except in side-by-side. More upper body rhythm. Mark's fluffy hair? 7.5/10.0

Louie & Chelsie: He's actually heard of Rumba and looks way better with his hair slicked back. They're editing them into the designated showmance. So little dancing for him, no content at all. Good partner and support for all her tricks. Cameraman likes her shiny rear end. 5.5/10.0

Debi & Maks: She's motivated by last week and promises to be quiet. They bring in Mel B, who also came back from being Bottom 2. Samba. Cute start, lots of textbook figures, very clean but not especially exciting. Flubs a bit at the end, you can see the worry on her face. The audience is clapping too fast. 6.0/10.0

Donny & Kym: Looking to tap his serious, emotional side-- "like singing a love song" she coaches. Rumba. Good job, especially in solo, but not strong enough. Nice hips, good footwork. Takes it easy and doesn't try too hard, but not a whole lot of fire. Okay. 8.0/10.0

Bruno calls his arms "airy fairy" and sensing a pot/kettle situation, Donny runs up to the table and pretends to make out with him. Everyone's stunned and cracking up, especially Donny who thinks "they might not let me back in Utah now!"

Tom talks to Paula. She has prepared for this show like she does for Idol, and begins the usual near-hysterical drug-fueled rambling, referring to Len as "Mr. Bad-man" and also comparing him to Simon Cowell among other wanderings.

Michael & Anna D: She's pushing hard, and there's some communication cross. They set a goal checklist which works for him. Samba. Light and quick enough on his feet, but it's a lot of walking. Fun and relaxed, but a lot of "groove shoulder" and no middle motion at all. 5.5/10.0

Natalie & Alec: Trying to be sexy, she blushes and giggles. They bring in Edyta to "help". Rumba. Smoke and wind machine intro like a Copperfield trick. Great stretch and movement throughout. Excellent legs and feet. Good hips and solo work. Solid and expressive. 9.0/10.0

Chuck & Anna T: She's goofy and calls it a flamboyant party dance. He gets a pedicure with his daughter, aww. Samba. He has the standard ruffle-sleeves that tear off. So stiff in the middle and awkward with the movement. Entertaining, though, and fun. He's really trying to do the technique and perform. 5.0/10.0

In the Red Room, Donny & Aaron are dancing. Apparently, the camera did not catch this exchange-- Samantha to Donny: "Only a 7 from Bruno? You should have given him tongue!" One of her rare funnies.

Tom & Cheryl: Working hard, but his feet are getting worse. Stress fractures on both sides. Doctors, producers & Cheryl all advising to quit, but "What's pain when you can party?" he says. Samba. Republican/Democrat costumes. He's totally counting out loud. No bounce, not on those feet. Tries, stays clean, nearly drops her at end. 5.0/10.0

Kelly & Louis: Her confidence shaken, she's looking for focus and determination. Samba. Louis has an ugly shirt, and he knows it. Fantastic footwork, great figures and speed. When she's on, the technique is awesome. Having fun, lots of personality. Smooth. 7.5/10.0

Results show. Between Paula's comments and Len's scores, they call the previous night "mayhem". In their interviews, the celebrities are taking the comments and criticisms hard and emotionally.

Encore: Chuck & Anna T's Samba! Nice to see them recognizing a low-score, high-commitment dance. He's way more relaxed, loose and on time. Way improved over last night.

Musical guest: Queen Latifah, "Fast Car". She's really there, with people instead of pre-taped. Unexpected straight pop song. Maks & Cheryl dance a great routine.

In the audience: Napoleon & Tabitha Duomo from SYTYCD, Christian Slater.

Three lowest scoring men: Tom (Safe), Michael (Jeopardy), Chuck (Safe)

Video package: First impressions and reactions.

Tom DeLay withdraws from the competition because of his injuries. He was scheduled to do Country Two-Step, which he's disappointed about, but is invited to come back for the finale if he's better.

Three highest scoring women: Mya (Safe), Natalie (Safe), Joanna (Safe)

Four highest scoring men: Donny (Safe), Louie (Safe), Aaron (Jeopardy), Mark (Safe)

And the celebrity picked for the Design a Dance? Sabrina Bryan! Good pick, considering she was so ROBBED.

Stars of Dance: Jabawockeez, dancing to a great remix of "Singin' In the Rain". Their usual masterful choreography is on prime display, working in wires and props and even a couple of "mystery dancers" who turn out to be Mark and Lacey.

Musical guest: Queen Latifah, "Ease On Down the Road". Her own dancers perform.

Video package: Predicting a winner with an ESPN Fantasy Sports Analys, Steve Wozniak and a toddler. That third was supposed to be a chimpanzee, but animal activists complained.

Three lowest scoring women: Debi (Jeopardy), Kelly (Safe), Melissa (Safe)

Safe: Aaron (Tom: "You cried for nothing!"), Michael

Eliminated: Debi Mazar & Maks Chmerkovskiy. She trips on the way down the stairs. She's sort of ready and settles (sort of) the pronunciation of her name.

Four new dances next week: Bolero, Charleston, Country Two-Step and Lambada. Oy.
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DWTS - S9 Week 2

Since I am oh so behind with these reviews, I'll try to cut down the length as best I can. Prepare yourselves for the sentence fragments.

Not getting the costumes and outfits tonight, even Samantha's and am amused that Kelly Osbourne's is the most understated. With Len out, we get director Baz Luhrmann as our guest judge. He looks odd with such short hair. "I don't want to see the work," he says, "I want to see the joy of the performance."


Joanna & Derek: Working on looking controlled and composed, typical model stamina problems. Jive. Black leather outfits. Great energy, good body motion but feet flat and knees low. Not as much connect and chemistry as before. 6.5/10.0

Natalie & Alec: Like a swimmer, she's not breathing while dancing so there's no way to be relaxed. Quickstep. Excellent footwork, great speed and travel. Overthinking and not breathing enough, but a few spots relaxed. Stays mostly closed, needs more connection. 7.5/10.0

Chuck & Anna T: No problem with the aggression. They try to work in fighting moves. Tango. Plenty of aggression, footwork clompy. Very muscled-through, shoulders crowding forward into hold. Mostly on time. Grappling move looked better in practice. 6.0/10.0

Melissa & Mark: Need to relax and enjoy the dancing. She nails him in the groin at some point. Jive. Great upper body and arms, but just not lifting feet and knees enough to get the speed going. Mark is the king of goofy jackets and hair, it seems. 6.5/10.0

Michael & Anna D: Time to challenge him. Working long rehearsals. Quickstep. Lots of content, all of it textbook basic figures, but clean. Looks slow because he doesn't drive forward on the slow counts. Needs to balance the energy more. 7.5/10.0

Judges getting a lot of boos. Tom: "I feel like I'm at a healthcare town meeting".

Debi & Maks: She hits the point of hurt feelings with his tough teaching, even getting in a smack. Tango to Moulin Rouge version of "Roxanne". Great job performing the drama and conflict. Very Argentine flavor, needs to move more from center. Links are solid. 7.0/10.0

Louie & Chelsie: Trying to apply their youthful energy and step up to challenge. Including big twist/flip. Jive. Great footwork, high knees, flicking legs. A little ahead of music. Not so great swivels. Pretty good technique overall, nice tricks. 8.0/10.0

Lots of green in the costumes tonight, and Headdress Lady is out of control.

Aaron & Karina: Pushing himself hard, he hits a wall with progression. Quickstep to the theme from The Muppet Show with Animal in the balcony and Gonzo on horn, making him Kermit and her Piggy. Fantastic footwork and drive, great leg action, nice pivots. Big expression, lots of fun. Good hold. 9.0/10.0

We continue to flog Moulin Rouge references (Bruno's "spectacular, spectacular") and find out the Professional Competition will be back this season.

Kelly & Louis: Pressuring herself to match last week, but still having fun. Tango. Extremely difficult, intricate choreography, fast footwork. Solid on a lot of it, errors hard to see on TV thanks to the speed and her skirt. She takes the critiques hard. 7.0/10.0

Kathy & Tony: Time to "throw caution to the wind". Quickstep. A little too light and dainty, needs to dig in and put pressure on the floor. Looking for more energy and punch to her dancing, more attack. Mismatched costumes are actually for The King and I music. 6.0/10.0

Mark & Lacey: His brain is overwhelmed with information, trying to learn a fast dance quickly. Quickstep. Good intro. Lots of big and energetic performance, explosive but not enough controlled. Loses footing early but recovers for clean footwork and legs. Fun overall. 8.0/10.0

The judges continue scoring low this season.

Mya & Dmitri: She's determined not to see a 5. Might get in trouble falling into tap technique. Jive. Fantastic performance, so much expression. Looks fun and easy. Nice swivels and center action. Dmitri gets geeky, too. Excellent dance overall. 9.5/10.0

Tom & Cheryl: Head snap a problem. He has stress fractures in one foot, but is committed. Tango. Very clean and kept on the right level. Very textbook, but executed. Lacking drive and attack. Almost drops her at the very end. 6.5/10.0

Donny & Kym: Challenged by speed of music and his stamina at 51 years old. Jive. Great energy throughout, never lets up. Fast and high feet, nice and springy. Good flicking, nice connection, lots of expression. Cute choreography. 8.5/10.0

Results show. Tight field, with 11 couples separated by only 3 points. Reports are that Macy Gray did not interviews because she was so upset about being cut. Samantha has poodle hair and a gigantic necklace that looks like a prop from a Riddick movie. Dmitri falls off his stool in the interviews. The Wife notices that the longer-standing pros are not getting as high-potential partners as the newer crop of pros. True?

Encore: Mya & Dmitri's Jive. My only quibble is that I now notice she doesn't spot.

In the audience, randomly: Mickey Rourke!

Results are coming in by rank groupings. Of the three top scorers: Donny (Safe), Mya (Safe), Aaron (Safe).

Musical guest: Joss Stone, "Colour Me Free". Excellent Theatre Arts couple Jeremy Hudson & Mallauri Esquibel.

Video package: The new DWTS training center, a multi-studio warehouse where everyone practices now. One room has a mockup of the full stage. A high school feel with drop-ins, pranks and lots of socializing.

Another group up. Mark (Safe), Natalie (Safe), Debi ("still in jeopardy").

Musical guest: Selena Gomez & the Scene, "Falling Down". Still working on her stage performance. Derek & Karina dance a hot Cha Cha to Louis' choreography. I'm distracted by her bootie shoe covers and his fringey hair.

Tom on big hair: "Don't Samantha and Kym look like sexy Chia Pets tonight?"

Score 20 group: Joanna (Safe), Michael (Safe).

Score 19 group: Chuck (Safe), Melissa (Safe), Kelly (Safe), Loue (Jeopardy)

Video: Breaking the stars' bad habits.

Stars of Dance: Choreographed by Stomp the Yard's Chuck Maldonado and Jimmy R.O. Smith, also featuring the Spirit of Troy Marching Band from USC, marching in from outside the studio. A total of 52 performers, the most ever.

Musical guest: Joss Stone, "Son of a Preacher Man". Gorgeous purple dress, awesome singing. Louis, Cheryl, Dmitri and Anna T do a pseudo-Samba. I am stunned by the 2-couple Samba Roll! Mickey Rourke is unimpressed. Or asleep.

Score 18 group: Tom (Safe), Kathy (Jeopardy). Louie safed.

RED LIGHT OF DOOOOOOOOOOM: Debi, Kathy. Their partners high five. Safe: Debi.

Eliminated: Kathy Ireland & Tony Dovolani. Tony's ready for it. Kathy keeps on the same face she wears all the time while mispronouncing her partner's last name.
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