DWTS - S9 Week 2

Since I am oh so behind with these reviews, I'll try to cut down the length as best I can. Prepare yourselves for the sentence fragments.

Not getting the costumes and outfits tonight, even Samantha's and am amused that Kelly Osbourne's is the most understated. With Len out, we get director Baz Luhrmann as our guest judge. He looks odd with such short hair. "I don't want to see the work," he says, "I want to see the joy of the performance."


Joanna & Derek: Working on looking controlled and composed, typical model stamina problems. Jive. Black leather outfits. Great energy, good body motion but feet flat and knees low. Not as much connect and chemistry as before. 6.5/10.0

Natalie & Alec: Like a swimmer, she's not breathing while dancing so there's no way to be relaxed. Quickstep. Excellent footwork, great speed and travel. Overthinking and not breathing enough, but a few spots relaxed. Stays mostly closed, needs more connection. 7.5/10.0

Chuck & Anna T: No problem with the aggression. They try to work in fighting moves. Tango. Plenty of aggression, footwork clompy. Very muscled-through, shoulders crowding forward into hold. Mostly on time. Grappling move looked better in practice. 6.0/10.0

Melissa & Mark: Need to relax and enjoy the dancing. She nails him in the groin at some point. Jive. Great upper body and arms, but just not lifting feet and knees enough to get the speed going. Mark is the king of goofy jackets and hair, it seems. 6.5/10.0

Michael & Anna D: Time to challenge him. Working long rehearsals. Quickstep. Lots of content, all of it textbook basic figures, but clean. Looks slow because he doesn't drive forward on the slow counts. Needs to balance the energy more. 7.5/10.0

Judges getting a lot of boos. Tom: "I feel like I'm at a healthcare town meeting".

Debi & Maks: She hits the point of hurt feelings with his tough teaching, even getting in a smack. Tango to Moulin Rouge version of "Roxanne". Great job performing the drama and conflict. Very Argentine flavor, needs to move more from center. Links are solid. 7.0/10.0

Louie & Chelsie: Trying to apply their youthful energy and step up to challenge. Including big twist/flip. Jive. Great footwork, high knees, flicking legs. A little ahead of music. Not so great swivels. Pretty good technique overall, nice tricks. 8.0/10.0

Lots of green in the costumes tonight, and Headdress Lady is out of control.

Aaron & Karina: Pushing himself hard, he hits a wall with progression. Quickstep to the theme from The Muppet Show with Animal in the balcony and Gonzo on horn, making him Kermit and her Piggy. Fantastic footwork and drive, great leg action, nice pivots. Big expression, lots of fun. Good hold. 9.0/10.0

We continue to flog Moulin Rouge references (Bruno's "spectacular, spectacular") and find out the Professional Competition will be back this season.

Kelly & Louis: Pressuring herself to match last week, but still having fun. Tango. Extremely difficult, intricate choreography, fast footwork. Solid on a lot of it, errors hard to see on TV thanks to the speed and her skirt. She takes the critiques hard. 7.0/10.0

Kathy & Tony: Time to "throw caution to the wind". Quickstep. A little too light and dainty, needs to dig in and put pressure on the floor. Looking for more energy and punch to her dancing, more attack. Mismatched costumes are actually for The King and I music. 6.0/10.0

Mark & Lacey: His brain is overwhelmed with information, trying to learn a fast dance quickly. Quickstep. Good intro. Lots of big and energetic performance, explosive but not enough controlled. Loses footing early but recovers for clean footwork and legs. Fun overall. 8.0/10.0

The judges continue scoring low this season.

Mya & Dmitri: She's determined not to see a 5. Might get in trouble falling into tap technique. Jive. Fantastic performance, so much expression. Looks fun and easy. Nice swivels and center action. Dmitri gets geeky, too. Excellent dance overall. 9.5/10.0

Tom & Cheryl: Head snap a problem. He has stress fractures in one foot, but is committed. Tango. Very clean and kept on the right level. Very textbook, but executed. Lacking drive and attack. Almost drops her at the very end. 6.5/10.0

Donny & Kym: Challenged by speed of music and his stamina at 51 years old. Jive. Great energy throughout, never lets up. Fast and high feet, nice and springy. Good flicking, nice connection, lots of expression. Cute choreography. 8.5/10.0

Results show. Tight field, with 11 couples separated by only 3 points. Reports are that Macy Gray did not interviews because she was so upset about being cut. Samantha has poodle hair and a gigantic necklace that looks like a prop from a Riddick movie. Dmitri falls off his stool in the interviews. The Wife notices that the longer-standing pros are not getting as high-potential partners as the newer crop of pros. True?

Encore: Mya & Dmitri's Jive. My only quibble is that I now notice she doesn't spot.

In the audience, randomly: Mickey Rourke!

Results are coming in by rank groupings. Of the three top scorers: Donny (Safe), Mya (Safe), Aaron (Safe).

Musical guest: Joss Stone, "Colour Me Free". Excellent Theatre Arts couple Jeremy Hudson & Mallauri Esquibel.

Video package: The new DWTS training center, a multi-studio warehouse where everyone practices now. One room has a mockup of the full stage. A high school feel with drop-ins, pranks and lots of socializing.

Another group up. Mark (Safe), Natalie (Safe), Debi ("still in jeopardy").

Musical guest: Selena Gomez & the Scene, "Falling Down". Still working on her stage performance. Derek & Karina dance a hot Cha Cha to Louis' choreography. I'm distracted by her bootie shoe covers and his fringey hair.

Tom on big hair: "Don't Samantha and Kym look like sexy Chia Pets tonight?"

Score 20 group: Joanna (Safe), Michael (Safe).

Score 19 group: Chuck (Safe), Melissa (Safe), Kelly (Safe), Loue (Jeopardy)

Video: Breaking the stars' bad habits.

Stars of Dance: Choreographed by Stomp the Yard's Chuck Maldonado and Jimmy R.O. Smith, also featuring the Spirit of Troy Marching Band from USC, marching in from outside the studio. A total of 52 performers, the most ever.

Musical guest: Joss Stone, "Son of a Preacher Man". Gorgeous purple dress, awesome singing. Louis, Cheryl, Dmitri and Anna T do a pseudo-Samba. I am stunned by the 2-couple Samba Roll! Mickey Rourke is unimpressed. Or asleep.

Score 18 group: Tom (Safe), Kathy (Jeopardy). Louie safed.

RED LIGHT OF DOOOOOOOOOOM: Debi, Kathy. Their partners high five. Safe: Debi.

Eliminated: Kathy Ireland & Tony Dovolani. Tony's ready for it. Kathy keeps on the same face she wears all the time while mispronouncing her partner's last name.