DWTS - S9 Week 9

It's week nine, the semifinals, which means it's time for the video of the DWTS "mirror ball" trophy surrounded by smoke and lights. Our lineup tonight includes three female celebrities and one male, which I believe might just be unprecedented. They've got three "full" (meaning, I suppose, not part of group numbers) routines to dance tonight: one Ballroom dance, one Latin and the "Knockout" dance they prepared weeks ago during the dance-offs. In addition, each couple's Latin routine must include a solo by the celebrity, not my favorite gimmick at all.


Donny & Kym: Despite having done an awesome Argentine Tango, they bring in Gilles ("I'm on Brothers & Sisters, also on ABC") Marini to help with the romance and passion: "make people uncomfortable", he advises. The music is awful, way better suited to Foxtrot than Tango. Kym's foot catches and tears the hem of her skirt, which throws them both off. Donny loses his performance focus even though his footwork is clean. He feels really bad about it, and you can't help but feel bad for him. 7.5/10.0

Donny's so distraught, he lays down on the floor. Tom's reaction? "Somebody call the paramedics, we have another Osmond down! Another Osmond down!" Donny blames seeing Marie in the audience for losing his focus. Marie, standing next to Tom Bergeron, protests.

Joanna & Derek: The rehearsals are getting rough, Derek is pushing hard and getting frustrated. Brooke Burke visits to joke around and make fun of Derek. Viennese Waltz. The opening is simple and pretty and so is the entire routine. Very understated and classic, not a lot of flash, but that's the right call. Nice lines, and a good start to body stretch, but still lacking grounding. Carrie Ann, of course, has to criticize her and makes some pointless comment about her arms and not her feet, which have been iffy all season. 9.0/10.0

Kelly & Louis: With a family dog dying, the "new" more motivated Kelly is pushing through and practicing instead of falling apart, and is not intimidated by the Rumba, which for some reason they're doing instead of their Ballroom. She's feeling the music, really thoughtful and soft in performance. The solo isn't so great. Decent technique, some hips, a bit shaky on some of her lines. She does, though, do the last one where she's braced on one foot against Louis and he's holding on to the other and nothing else pretty well. 7.5/10.0

Apparently, Kelly's feet were in such pain she had a shot to numb them, which must somehow explain the flip-flop of their dances.

Mya & Dmitry: She brings in a white board to remind them of the practice rules, the last of which is ironically that Dmitry is in charge. Sure. Waltz. Excellent technique, and not overdone or trying too hard. Very graceful. Their dance hold is off, I think she's a bit misaligned. Still a lack of chemistry and connection between them beyond the technique. They also do a lift at the end, but Carrie Ann Inconistent doesn't catch it. 9.0/10.0

In the audience: Helio Castroneves. During the next section, the intro video will be a little history of each celebrity.

Donny & Kym: Man, his kids totally look like him. Samba to his own "One Bad Apple", cute. Lots of great energy, some good hips going and lots of feeling. He's really in the music, a great change in his performance. His solo has some nice steps and content, and he really looks like he's having fun. He'll never be as hard and sharp as some others, but he'll always be very smooth. 8.5/10.0

Joanna & Derek: Single mom + two girls left Communist Poland. Mom, it seems, passed on very good genes to both her daughters. Cha Cha. She starts with the solo, slinking on the stage with some great swivel and hip action. The full fringe pants, I'm betting, are Derek's idea, highlighting her best technique and camouflaging her weaknesses. Very sharp movement, great connection and lead & follow. 9.0/10.0

Kelly & Louis: Her unusual upbringing and history make her adventurous and resilient. Quickstep. Random song, super fast for Quickstep. Great technique, especially the Charleston footwork in the corner which might be the best of the season. Slightly off during a jump. Bright and fun performance, nice choreography, points for keeping up the speed. 9.5/10.0

Mya & Dmitry: She was taught tap by her mom out of a library book. Salsa, although their song "La Isla Bonita" is a Samba and the arrangement even more so. Lots of great rhythm, very fast music. Good hip action and Latin motion, nice follow. They do a variation on the neck-drop-to-foot trick that works very well. Her solo is strong, but it's easy in this dance and something like Cha Cha. 9.5/10.0

Len's comment is "Tutti Fruitti, what a booty". No, seriously.

Video package: the prep of the Knockout dances. Interesting to note that it's been a couple of weeks since any of them have practiced these routines, and none of them were called upon to use them for a dance-off. Apparently, celebrities being asked to do three routines in one night is also unprecedented.

Donny & Kym: Jitterbug. Good call. We finally get to see those gaudy spangly green costumes in action. It's Donny's signature high energy and solid technique. Some good tricks, lots of fun. 9.5/10.0

Joanna & Derek: Salsa. Excellent energy, very sharp movement, lots of great swivels. Good connection, some callback to their neck drop. Lots of Derek mugging. 9.5/10.0

Kelly & Louis: Cha Cha. Adorable look with the pink/black costumes. Great musicality. Very sharp, excellent arms and hands. Solid performance. 8.0/10.0

Mya & Dmitry: Cha Cha. Good technique. Clearly from a while ago, as the choreography isn't as tight and interesting as what he's doing lately. Some tricks, good footwork, still not quite together. 8.5/10.0

Results show. They've ramped up the drama music. Tom calls it the most "entertainment-packed" show ever, and considering the lineup, he's not far wrong.

Encore: Mya & Dmitry's Salsa. Some parts of it actually work better tonight than last night. The Wife and some friends share our less-than-totally-impressed view of this couple. One common comment was that when speaking, Mya's words seem to come off a little disingenuous, a little fake. I notice on Twitter (a great way to follow the action and find out things closer to the stars' and celebs' real feelings) that no matter how much everyone gushes about everyone else, the one exception is that nobody seems to be especially close or affectionate with Mya.

We find out that the reason Kelly's solo last night looked off was that she'd forgotten her choreography and was improvising it. Wow.

They bring up the four couples to the stage and fake them out. Instead, we get a video package of each contestant sizing up their competition.

We're treated to a performance of the song "Be Italian", as staged in the upcoming movie musical Nine. The movie's number is re-created and adapted for the studio, with a dancer filling in for the really-surprisingly-good-at-the-song Fergie, who plays the Whore in the movie (no seriously, that's the character). The number is good and well-staged. I'm really looking forward to the movie.

Musical guest: Alicia Keys, "Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart". She has her own two couples for dancers, and they're quite good. She's wearing thigh-high blue suede high-heel boots that seem to have no zippers.

Video: The celebs lip sync to Queen's "Under Pressure". The sync quality varies greatly, but Joanna, Kelly and especially Donny seem to get into the overdramatics with gusto. There are dresses torn, mirror balls smashed and high heel dance shoes set on fire. Very funny, mostly for Donny.

They bring the two higher-scoring couples to the stage, and inform Mya & Dmitry that they've made it to the finals. No surprise, but a little disappointment here. We find her the most technically talented, but least interesting to watch dance.

Musical guest: Leona Lewis, "Happy". Four couples to dance in a floor full of smoke, and using huge black sheets as props. Um, okay.

The lower-scoring couples come to the stage. Donny is moved to the finals and is very relieved.

Musical guest: the Bee Gees, "You Should Be Dancing". It's their 50th Anniversary, wow. They can still hit the falsetto, but the song just doesn't sound right with just the two of them. Tony, Cheryl, Chelsie and Artem (making one of his occasional appearances) dance some Hustle, and then Tony dances with his partner from last season, Melissa Rycroft who gets to dance barefoot, probably because she couldn't get used to the heels again fast enough. I note that Tony has no trouble lifting her over his head either, so he must only have trouble with Cheryl. The audience is on its feet clapping along. We see Sharon grooving, but Ozzy looks especially confused by the disco music.

Video package: We actually spend some time with the professionals, watching backstage footage of them creating the pro routines. It's interesting to watch the interplay of the egos and creative forces. They get worked up, but we don't see any fighting, and clearly they know how to work together to make great results.

And it's time to announce the third couple in the finals, and it's Kelly & Louis.

Eliminated: Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough. He's totally ready for it. She sounds really sincere in her thanks. Probably the worst part of it all is that Derek was promising a freestyle that would blow their futuristic Paso "out of the water", and I believe it. Instead of a last dance, surprisingly, they're asked to encore their Viennese Waltz from last night. It's still a great routine, and she dances it well.

Finals next week. See you there.
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DWTS - S9 Week 8

Two dances tonight for each couple-- that is, two full original routines. First, is the Ballroom (aka Smooth or Standard) round, and then the Latin which for some reason they've decided to theme tonight by assigning each couple not just a dance but a particular decade. I am not a fan of the gimmicks this show usually comes up with to mix things up, and I'm not feeling much better about this one. The dancers head down the stairs. Kelly always looks adorable (and never in my life did I expect to ever consider Kelly Osbourne "adorable"), Aaron has another inexplicably huge collar and Joanna's done up all old Hollywood glam.

Video package: the judges size up the competitors for the Ballroom round.


Mya & Dmitry: "If you put in something just to please the judges, you lose the 'wow factor'," she strategizes continuing to prove that she's in charge, not the pro. She does push herself on the technique, though, and for no reason they go horseback riding. Quickstep. Good footwork, great posture. Her right arm in hold is soft, but Dmitry doesn't let it break. Solid expression, simple and focused on the dance. 8.5/10.0

Let me get rude for a minute. Mya, frak you and your "wow factor". People who vote on this show will vote for who they like pretty much regardless of how well they dance. If you're going to win, you need to court both sides of the fence, and pushing for more style and less substance is a bad strategy, especially when you're a better dancer than you keep showing. When Len breaks out his 10 paddle, Dmitry gives her a really amusing miniature 10 paddle on a ring.

Aaron & Karina: He thinks it's important to be happy and enjoy the experience. Karina is getting sick, but is determined to not let him dance with a different pro. Smart. Foxtrot. Good movement and travel, decent footwork. Trying to get both technique and performance, lacking a little smoothness. His frame rides too far forward to be in balance. I really don't like her dancing in pants for this. 7.5/10.0

They give them a song with the lyrics "lucky I'm in love with my best friend". A little in-joke there, show?

Joanna & Derek: Working on the super-fast dance with a still frame. He has them watching tapes of Mya to watch for an edge, concentrating on competing. Quickstep. Great frame and posture. Footwork decent, but lacking grounding and strength. Loses a bit of sync in places, a little too far apart in closed hold. Good fast travel. Great choreography ranging the floor. 8.5/10.0

In the audience: Sabrina Bryan, Marie Osmond and, of course, the Jacksons.

Kelly & Louis: She hasn't had a Ballroom since week one, yikes. She gets really distracted by anything, and Louis puts a "do not disturb or Louis will kill you" sign on the door and locks up her phone. Foxtrot. Very together, good confidence and performance. Good movement, very graceful. Fun and cute routine, overall. Love her head position. 8.0/10.0

When they go back, the Red Room is completely empty, which is really kind of eerie.

Donny & Kym: He's feeling bummed out, so he starts over mentally for a fresh start. Struggle to remember steps. Viennese Waltz. Fantastic expression and character. Great movement and travel, very light and graceful and easy. Good frame and posture. Choreography lets it slow and stop for a moment, which I like a lot. 9.0/10.0

Len calls it "arty-farty". Donny points out that he went from "airy-fairy" (per Bruno) to "arty-farty". Tom tells them to "hoppy-skippy" back to the Red Room. We get a "DanceCenter" ad parody.

Time for a pro routine to eat some time. A Latin medley with Tony, Mark, Jaymz Tuaileva (OMG I can't believe I had to type it that way... also, he was on SYTYCD and in High School Musical 2), Snejana Petrova, Lilit Avaqvan, and Sandra Udis. (You have no idea how long it took me to find those names, yikes.) It's a great Latin medley, mostly Paso Doble and Samba.

Video package: the judges size up the competitors for the Latin "Dancing through the Decades" round.

Mya & Dmitry: 70's Samba. Adding the disco moves, having understandable trouble with Samba rolls. He's getting choreography block. He has a great wig and pornstache. Very good choreography with lots of solid content. They didn't do the rolls. Not enough connection between them, mostly because she rarely looks at him. Hip movement but no bounce. Solid overall. 9.5/10.0

Aaron & Karina: 90's Samba. They think to incorporate his old boy-band-ish moves, but not too much she thinks. He's overboard with the energy again, just can't seem to control himself and ease up. Good content for Samba and a few good 90's moves he hits too wild/hard. Pretty good movement and technique. 8.5/10.0

Apparently, Aaron is sick and felt so queasy at one point he nearly barfed. Tom calls that "our oversharing moment for tonight".

Joanna & Derek: Futuristic Paso Doble. There'll be lots of side-by-side work. Hardest choreography and most unusual, unique routine he's ever done. Their costumes light up and their hair and makeup is great. The routine is genius, incorporating both solid Paso content and lots of good theme elements, like straightening traditionally curved arm and leg lines. Solid technique. Awesome show. 10.0/10.0

Clearly, Carrie Anne is determined to never give Joanna as good a mark as the other judges.

Kelly & Louis: 60's Jive. She loves the era, so she gets to contribute steps. Working on the stamina for the dance. Cute looks with their wigs and the ragdoll prop that Bruno misses catching when Louis throws it. Much more confident on the floor, nice expression. Technique-wise, not as great with soft feet, low knees and no ticking. Not an explosive-energy kind of dancer. 8.5/10.0

Donny & Kym: 80's Paso Doble. "No room for a soft edge" in Paso, he says correctly. Pics of his old mullet look. Me, I loved "Soldier of Love", and I don't care who knows it. Adam Ant look for him, awesome costumes and makeup. Paso expression and character is solid throughout, but I think they got a little swamped in all the costuming. The wind machine and uplighting moment, though, was priceless. 9.0/10.0

Okay, the pros really went all-out in making the decade themes a part of the routines and got very creative with the interpretations. It made what could have been very staid and typical late-season Latin dances just a little out of the box. This was one of the best ideas they've had in a long time.

Results show. Tom jokes about the volume of the studio audience and how hard it is to hear themselves and one another. It's bad on this side of the camera, too.

Encore: Joanna & Derek's Futuristic Paso. Slight adjustments in hair and makeup, less extreme. The routine is still as brilliant as it was last night. Only Derek, I think, has the creative chops to have done something this good with that theme. Someone like Dmitry, I think, would have been lost. In Len's introduction, he mentions that they're not picking the one perfect-score routine, maybe somewhat acknowledging that if not for Carrie Anne being an idiot, this routine would have gotten a 30, too.

Safe: Joanna & Derek. Their costumes are still lit when their spotlight goes off, which is awesome and so is Dmitry missing a high five to Derek.

In the audience: Hugh Hefner and his 3 skeezy new girlfriends, Jane Seymour. Mya's score is almost perfect, the rest of the four are separated by just 2 points.

Musical Guest: Michael Bublé, "Just Haven't Met You Yet". Love his voice, amused by his frat boy looks. Jonathan, Maks, Anna & Cheryl dance a great and unusually lighthearted and fun routine with lots of awesome partner switching.

Safe: Mya & Dmitry.

Yay! DanceCenter! Kenny Mayne (minus his usual makeup, but also minus pants), Jerry Rice and Len size up the competitors, noting Joanna's braying laugh, Aaron's crying and Donny's age. "Special Backstage Correspondent" Stacy Kiebler goes through hair and makeup to be on camera for two seconds with Donny & Bruno acting couple-y.

Macy Stars of Dance: Design-A-Dance. And the surprise pro dancing with Sabrina Bryan is... Mark Ballas, of course! In their not-as-awful-as-it-sounds tiger stripe costumes, they dance Paso Doble to "Eye of the Tiger". She is fierce and awesome, strong sharp and intense. The choreography is top notch and even involves some climbing over one another and ends with his face in her cleavage. They're both so intense, I wonder if they're working out some issues here. It continues to be a crying shame that America let her be eliminated in her fifth week.

Music: Michael Bublé, "Feeling Good". Love this song, love the video, too. Dancing some great Ballroom are Urs Geisenhaier and Agnes Kazmierczak.

Tom calls elimination "like walking a carpeted plank".

Safe: Donny & Kym.

Music: Susan Boyle, "I Dreamed A Dream". Tony & Chelsie do a very good lyrical theatre arts routine as usual. I note he can lift her over his head just fine, but has trouble with Cheryl. I wonder if she's heavier or if she doesn't help enough. I can't think of Susan Boyle without thinking of what Sharon Osbourne said she looks like. Her singing is fine.

DanceCenter. Kelly is the "Princess of Darkness", is confused and curses a lot. Kenny mistakes Mya for the pro and Len criticizes her not dancing.

When Tom teases the elimination on the other side of the commercial, Louis very clearly uses the F-word on stage.

Safe: Kelly & Louis. She's jumping up and down.

Eliminated: Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff. He was ready for it, and is appreciative for all the "learning" and "growing up" he's done. Len makes a speech about how proud he is of Aaron, which he does a lot-- enough that Maks on his blog wonders if Len wants to adopt the kid.

See you next week at the Semifinals.
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