DWTS - S9 Week 9

It's week nine, the semifinals, which means it's time for the video of the DWTS "mirror ball" trophy surrounded by smoke and lights. Our lineup tonight includes three female celebrities and one male, which I believe might just be unprecedented. They've got three "full" (meaning, I suppose, not part of group numbers) routines to dance tonight: one Ballroom dance, one Latin and the "Knockout" dance they prepared weeks ago during the dance-offs. In addition, each couple's Latin routine must include a solo by the celebrity, not my favorite gimmick at all.


Donny & Kym: Despite having done an awesome Argentine Tango, they bring in Gilles ("I'm on Brothers & Sisters, also on ABC") Marini to help with the romance and passion: "make people uncomfortable", he advises. The music is awful, way better suited to Foxtrot than Tango. Kym's foot catches and tears the hem of her skirt, which throws them both off. Donny loses his performance focus even though his footwork is clean. He feels really bad about it, and you can't help but feel bad for him. 7.5/10.0

Donny's so distraught, he lays down on the floor. Tom's reaction? "Somebody call the paramedics, we have another Osmond down! Another Osmond down!" Donny blames seeing Marie in the audience for losing his focus. Marie, standing next to Tom Bergeron, protests.

Joanna & Derek: The rehearsals are getting rough, Derek is pushing hard and getting frustrated. Brooke Burke visits to joke around and make fun of Derek. Viennese Waltz. The opening is simple and pretty and so is the entire routine. Very understated and classic, not a lot of flash, but that's the right call. Nice lines, and a good start to body stretch, but still lacking grounding. Carrie Ann, of course, has to criticize her and makes some pointless comment about her arms and not her feet, which have been iffy all season. 9.0/10.0

Kelly & Louis: With a family dog dying, the "new" more motivated Kelly is pushing through and practicing instead of falling apart, and is not intimidated by the Rumba, which for some reason they're doing instead of their Ballroom. She's feeling the music, really thoughtful and soft in performance. The solo isn't so great. Decent technique, some hips, a bit shaky on some of her lines. She does, though, do the last one where she's braced on one foot against Louis and he's holding on to the other and nothing else pretty well. 7.5/10.0

Apparently, Kelly's feet were in such pain she had a shot to numb them, which must somehow explain the flip-flop of their dances.

Mya & Dmitry: She brings in a white board to remind them of the practice rules, the last of which is ironically that Dmitry is in charge. Sure. Waltz. Excellent technique, and not overdone or trying too hard. Very graceful. Their dance hold is off, I think she's a bit misaligned. Still a lack of chemistry and connection between them beyond the technique. They also do a lift at the end, but Carrie Ann Inconistent doesn't catch it. 9.0/10.0

In the audience: Helio Castroneves. During the next section, the intro video will be a little history of each celebrity.

Donny & Kym: Man, his kids totally look like him. Samba to his own "One Bad Apple", cute. Lots of great energy, some good hips going and lots of feeling. He's really in the music, a great change in his performance. His solo has some nice steps and content, and he really looks like he's having fun. He'll never be as hard and sharp as some others, but he'll always be very smooth. 8.5/10.0

Joanna & Derek: Single mom + two girls left Communist Poland. Mom, it seems, passed on very good genes to both her daughters. Cha Cha. She starts with the solo, slinking on the stage with some great swivel and hip action. The full fringe pants, I'm betting, are Derek's idea, highlighting her best technique and camouflaging her weaknesses. Very sharp movement, great connection and lead & follow. 9.0/10.0

Kelly & Louis: Her unusual upbringing and history make her adventurous and resilient. Quickstep. Random song, super fast for Quickstep. Great technique, especially the Charleston footwork in the corner which might be the best of the season. Slightly off during a jump. Bright and fun performance, nice choreography, points for keeping up the speed. 9.5/10.0

Mya & Dmitry: She was taught tap by her mom out of a library book. Salsa, although their song "La Isla Bonita" is a Samba and the arrangement even more so. Lots of great rhythm, very fast music. Good hip action and Latin motion, nice follow. They do a variation on the neck-drop-to-foot trick that works very well. Her solo is strong, but it's easy in this dance and something like Cha Cha. 9.5/10.0

Len's comment is "Tutti Fruitti, what a booty". No, seriously.

Video package: the prep of the Knockout dances. Interesting to note that it's been a couple of weeks since any of them have practiced these routines, and none of them were called upon to use them for a dance-off. Apparently, celebrities being asked to do three routines in one night is also unprecedented.

Donny & Kym: Jitterbug. Good call. We finally get to see those gaudy spangly green costumes in action. It's Donny's signature high energy and solid technique. Some good tricks, lots of fun. 9.5/10.0

Joanna & Derek: Salsa. Excellent energy, very sharp movement, lots of great swivels. Good connection, some callback to their neck drop. Lots of Derek mugging. 9.5/10.0

Kelly & Louis: Cha Cha. Adorable look with the pink/black costumes. Great musicality. Very sharp, excellent arms and hands. Solid performance. 8.0/10.0

Mya & Dmitry: Cha Cha. Good technique. Clearly from a while ago, as the choreography isn't as tight and interesting as what he's doing lately. Some tricks, good footwork, still not quite together. 8.5/10.0

Results show. They've ramped up the drama music. Tom calls it the most "entertainment-packed" show ever, and considering the lineup, he's not far wrong.

Encore: Mya & Dmitry's Salsa. Some parts of it actually work better tonight than last night. The Wife and some friends share our less-than-totally-impressed view of this couple. One common comment was that when speaking, Mya's words seem to come off a little disingenuous, a little fake. I notice on Twitter (a great way to follow the action and find out things closer to the stars' and celebs' real feelings) that no matter how much everyone gushes about everyone else, the one exception is that nobody seems to be especially close or affectionate with Mya.

We find out that the reason Kelly's solo last night looked off was that she'd forgotten her choreography and was improvising it. Wow.

They bring up the four couples to the stage and fake them out. Instead, we get a video package of each contestant sizing up their competition.

We're treated to a performance of the song "Be Italian", as staged in the upcoming movie musical Nine. The movie's number is re-created and adapted for the studio, with a dancer filling in for the really-surprisingly-good-at-the-song Fergie, who plays the Whore in the movie (no seriously, that's the character). The number is good and well-staged. I'm really looking forward to the movie.

Musical guest: Alicia Keys, "Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart". She has her own two couples for dancers, and they're quite good. She's wearing thigh-high blue suede high-heel boots that seem to have no zippers.

Video: The celebs lip sync to Queen's "Under Pressure". The sync quality varies greatly, but Joanna, Kelly and especially Donny seem to get into the overdramatics with gusto. There are dresses torn, mirror balls smashed and high heel dance shoes set on fire. Very funny, mostly for Donny.

They bring the two higher-scoring couples to the stage, and inform Mya & Dmitry that they've made it to the finals. No surprise, but a little disappointment here. We find her the most technically talented, but least interesting to watch dance.

Musical guest: Leona Lewis, "Happy". Four couples to dance in a floor full of smoke, and using huge black sheets as props. Um, okay.

The lower-scoring couples come to the stage. Donny is moved to the finals and is very relieved.

Musical guest: the Bee Gees, "You Should Be Dancing". It's their 50th Anniversary, wow. They can still hit the falsetto, but the song just doesn't sound right with just the two of them. Tony, Cheryl, Chelsie and Artem (making one of his occasional appearances) dance some Hustle, and then Tony dances with his partner from last season, Melissa Rycroft who gets to dance barefoot, probably because she couldn't get used to the heels again fast enough. I note that Tony has no trouble lifting her over his head either, so he must only have trouble with Cheryl. The audience is on its feet clapping along. We see Sharon grooving, but Ozzy looks especially confused by the disco music.

Video package: We actually spend some time with the professionals, watching backstage footage of them creating the pro routines. It's interesting to watch the interplay of the egos and creative forces. They get worked up, but we don't see any fighting, and clearly they know how to work together to make great results.

And it's time to announce the third couple in the finals, and it's Kelly & Louis.

Eliminated: Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough. He's totally ready for it. She sounds really sincere in her thanks. Probably the worst part of it all is that Derek was promising a freestyle that would blow their futuristic Paso "out of the water", and I believe it. Instead of a last dance, surprisingly, they're asked to encore their Viennese Waltz from last night. It's still a great routine, and she dances it well.

Finals next week. See you there.