DWTS - S9 Week 8

Two dances tonight for each couple-- that is, two full original routines. First, is the Ballroom (aka Smooth or Standard) round, and then the Latin which for some reason they've decided to theme tonight by assigning each couple not just a dance but a particular decade. I am not a fan of the gimmicks this show usually comes up with to mix things up, and I'm not feeling much better about this one. The dancers head down the stairs. Kelly always looks adorable (and never in my life did I expect to ever consider Kelly Osbourne "adorable"), Aaron has another inexplicably huge collar and Joanna's done up all old Hollywood glam.

Video package: the judges size up the competitors for the Ballroom round.


Mya & Dmitry: "If you put in something just to please the judges, you lose the 'wow factor'," she strategizes continuing to prove that she's in charge, not the pro. She does push herself on the technique, though, and for no reason they go horseback riding. Quickstep. Good footwork, great posture. Her right arm in hold is soft, but Dmitry doesn't let it break. Solid expression, simple and focused on the dance. 8.5/10.0

Let me get rude for a minute. Mya, frak you and your "wow factor". People who vote on this show will vote for who they like pretty much regardless of how well they dance. If you're going to win, you need to court both sides of the fence, and pushing for more style and less substance is a bad strategy, especially when you're a better dancer than you keep showing. When Len breaks out his 10 paddle, Dmitry gives her a really amusing miniature 10 paddle on a ring.

Aaron & Karina: He thinks it's important to be happy and enjoy the experience. Karina is getting sick, but is determined to not let him dance with a different pro. Smart. Foxtrot. Good movement and travel, decent footwork. Trying to get both technique and performance, lacking a little smoothness. His frame rides too far forward to be in balance. I really don't like her dancing in pants for this. 7.5/10.0

They give them a song with the lyrics "lucky I'm in love with my best friend". A little in-joke there, show?

Joanna & Derek: Working on the super-fast dance with a still frame. He has them watching tapes of Mya to watch for an edge, concentrating on competing. Quickstep. Great frame and posture. Footwork decent, but lacking grounding and strength. Loses a bit of sync in places, a little too far apart in closed hold. Good fast travel. Great choreography ranging the floor. 8.5/10.0

In the audience: Sabrina Bryan, Marie Osmond and, of course, the Jacksons.

Kelly & Louis: She hasn't had a Ballroom since week one, yikes. She gets really distracted by anything, and Louis puts a "do not disturb or Louis will kill you" sign on the door and locks up her phone. Foxtrot. Very together, good confidence and performance. Good movement, very graceful. Fun and cute routine, overall. Love her head position. 8.0/10.0

When they go back, the Red Room is completely empty, which is really kind of eerie.

Donny & Kym: He's feeling bummed out, so he starts over mentally for a fresh start. Struggle to remember steps. Viennese Waltz. Fantastic expression and character. Great movement and travel, very light and graceful and easy. Good frame and posture. Choreography lets it slow and stop for a moment, which I like a lot. 9.0/10.0

Len calls it "arty-farty". Donny points out that he went from "airy-fairy" (per Bruno) to "arty-farty". Tom tells them to "hoppy-skippy" back to the Red Room. We get a "DanceCenter" ad parody.

Time for a pro routine to eat some time. A Latin medley with Tony, Mark, Jaymz Tuaileva (OMG I can't believe I had to type it that way... also, he was on SYTYCD and in High School Musical 2), Snejana Petrova, Lilit Avaqvan, and Sandra Udis. (You have no idea how long it took me to find those names, yikes.) It's a great Latin medley, mostly Paso Doble and Samba.

Video package: the judges size up the competitors for the Latin "Dancing through the Decades" round.

Mya & Dmitry: 70's Samba. Adding the disco moves, having understandable trouble with Samba rolls. He's getting choreography block. He has a great wig and pornstache. Very good choreography with lots of solid content. They didn't do the rolls. Not enough connection between them, mostly because she rarely looks at him. Hip movement but no bounce. Solid overall. 9.5/10.0

Aaron & Karina: 90's Samba. They think to incorporate his old boy-band-ish moves, but not too much she thinks. He's overboard with the energy again, just can't seem to control himself and ease up. Good content for Samba and a few good 90's moves he hits too wild/hard. Pretty good movement and technique. 8.5/10.0

Apparently, Aaron is sick and felt so queasy at one point he nearly barfed. Tom calls that "our oversharing moment for tonight".

Joanna & Derek: Futuristic Paso Doble. There'll be lots of side-by-side work. Hardest choreography and most unusual, unique routine he's ever done. Their costumes light up and their hair and makeup is great. The routine is genius, incorporating both solid Paso content and lots of good theme elements, like straightening traditionally curved arm and leg lines. Solid technique. Awesome show. 10.0/10.0

Clearly, Carrie Anne is determined to never give Joanna as good a mark as the other judges.

Kelly & Louis: 60's Jive. She loves the era, so she gets to contribute steps. Working on the stamina for the dance. Cute looks with their wigs and the ragdoll prop that Bruno misses catching when Louis throws it. Much more confident on the floor, nice expression. Technique-wise, not as great with soft feet, low knees and no ticking. Not an explosive-energy kind of dancer. 8.5/10.0

Donny & Kym: 80's Paso Doble. "No room for a soft edge" in Paso, he says correctly. Pics of his old mullet look. Me, I loved "Soldier of Love", and I don't care who knows it. Adam Ant look for him, awesome costumes and makeup. Paso expression and character is solid throughout, but I think they got a little swamped in all the costuming. The wind machine and uplighting moment, though, was priceless. 9.0/10.0

Okay, the pros really went all-out in making the decade themes a part of the routines and got very creative with the interpretations. It made what could have been very staid and typical late-season Latin dances just a little out of the box. This was one of the best ideas they've had in a long time.

Results show. Tom jokes about the volume of the studio audience and how hard it is to hear themselves and one another. It's bad on this side of the camera, too.

Encore: Joanna & Derek's Futuristic Paso. Slight adjustments in hair and makeup, less extreme. The routine is still as brilliant as it was last night. Only Derek, I think, has the creative chops to have done something this good with that theme. Someone like Dmitry, I think, would have been lost. In Len's introduction, he mentions that they're not picking the one perfect-score routine, maybe somewhat acknowledging that if not for Carrie Anne being an idiot, this routine would have gotten a 30, too.

Safe: Joanna & Derek. Their costumes are still lit when their spotlight goes off, which is awesome and so is Dmitry missing a high five to Derek.

In the audience: Hugh Hefner and his 3 skeezy new girlfriends, Jane Seymour. Mya's score is almost perfect, the rest of the four are separated by just 2 points.

Musical Guest: Michael Bublé, "Just Haven't Met You Yet". Love his voice, amused by his frat boy looks. Jonathan, Maks, Anna & Cheryl dance a great and unusually lighthearted and fun routine with lots of awesome partner switching.

Safe: Mya & Dmitry.

Yay! DanceCenter! Kenny Mayne (minus his usual makeup, but also minus pants), Jerry Rice and Len size up the competitors, noting Joanna's braying laugh, Aaron's crying and Donny's age. "Special Backstage Correspondent" Stacy Kiebler goes through hair and makeup to be on camera for two seconds with Donny & Bruno acting couple-y.

Macy Stars of Dance: Design-A-Dance. And the surprise pro dancing with Sabrina Bryan is... Mark Ballas, of course! In their not-as-awful-as-it-sounds tiger stripe costumes, they dance Paso Doble to "Eye of the Tiger". She is fierce and awesome, strong sharp and intense. The choreography is top notch and even involves some climbing over one another and ends with his face in her cleavage. They're both so intense, I wonder if they're working out some issues here. It continues to be a crying shame that America let her be eliminated in her fifth week.

Music: Michael Bublé, "Feeling Good". Love this song, love the video, too. Dancing some great Ballroom are Urs Geisenhaier and Agnes Kazmierczak.

Tom calls elimination "like walking a carpeted plank".

Safe: Donny & Kym.

Music: Susan Boyle, "I Dreamed A Dream". Tony & Chelsie do a very good lyrical theatre arts routine as usual. I note he can lift her over his head just fine, but has trouble with Cheryl. I wonder if she's heavier or if she doesn't help enough. I can't think of Susan Boyle without thinking of what Sharon Osbourne said she looks like. Her singing is fine.

DanceCenter. Kelly is the "Princess of Darkness", is confused and curses a lot. Kenny mistakes Mya for the pro and Len criticizes her not dancing.

When Tom teases the elimination on the other side of the commercial, Louis very clearly uses the F-word on stage.

Safe: Kelly & Louis. She's jumping up and down.

Eliminated: Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff. He was ready for it, and is appreciative for all the "learning" and "growing up" he's done. Len makes a speech about how proud he is of Aaron, which he does a lot-- enough that Maks on his blog wonders if Len wants to adopt the kid.

See you next week at the Semifinals.